Seven Deadly Sins: Envy

I envy people who have it all made for them either by their status in the community, the depth of their pockets, the family they were born into, etc. its seems they have it all or maybe they have A LOT and all they have to do is just prove themselves worthy of what they were born into.

it was stronger in the elementary years when you were surrounded by a classroom full of kids who got everything they needed and more. when on the first day of school, everything you had that was new was cheapened by the things that they had which were shinier, glitzier, hi tech. when they brought out the newest sweet valey novel or the latest archie comics, when they took out from their even bigger and fancier bags, the newest toy which would be "IN" throughout the whole school for days on end. and i could go on about their shoes, acccessories, blah blah blah.

in the corporate setting, people who know people or people who know "your" people will definitely have be a big plus for you. i also know people who just stay at home and do nothing after graduation. they simply have no need to work.

i envy them. even at the get go, i have had to work for what i needed. we were only bought new shoes, maybe a change of clothes and stuff at christmastime and the things we got were usually "useful" things for school, no fancy toys, books or clothes. and even for those things, i felt, we had to be worthy to be given those gifts. we were given extra if we did well in school (which wasnt often for me).

all my life, it feels that i am working for something, for someone. which may be the reason why i value free time and extra cash.

i dont regret my life, the family i was born into, the work i have to do (in lucid times, i know how blessed i am with what i have), but sometimes, i wish that life is already "made" for me, to be carefree. it would be fun to walk in the shoes of somebody who had all the resources to work with and all she has to worry is how she looks, how to hone creativity, how to find new things to learn, where to go to next for recreation, just bond with people she loves, practice the art of socialization and small talk and the list goes on forever....